When Growth Comes Through Trust, Not Force
Why We Feel the Need to Force Things
Controlling aspects of our lives provides us a false sense of comfort. The unknown or the thought of not having ‘control’ causes us anxiety. We take matters into our own hands because it provides a false sense of security. The decisions we make, the things we crave- sometimes are things we force into place. We need a job, so we force interest in the 1 job we interviewed for and disregard whether it’s good for us or not because we have bills to pay and don’t want that pressure. Others force themselves into relationships because they don’t want to deal with loneliness. The need to force comes back to the need for control because the lack thereof, causes discomfort and anxiety. Forcing things or constant striving comes at a cost.
The Cost of Constant Striving
The constant striving can become exhausting. It slowly drains you until you are feeling fatigued all the time. The constant feeling of burnout and disappointment creates an ever growing gap in our ability to hear the guidance of God. The more stressed out we are, the less we are able to hear the lord’s instructions. This is because our nervous system is overwhelmed. Our thought process is overwhelming. Our blood pressure and cortisol levels are elevated. God lives in those moments of stillness. If we are in constant striving and stress, it’s not possible to clear the static enough to hear the guidance of God.
I’ve experienced this personally. The cost of constant striving is feeling tired no matter how many hours you sleep, how early you go to bed, or what ‘relaxation techniques’ are used. Everything tried feels pointless. It’s like no matter what you do, you can’t seem to shake the fatigue completely.
This is because it’s not your typical fatigue. It’s rooted much deeper than the superficial reason of missing a few hours of sleep. The exhaustion is the cost of constant striving. For some of us, the striving has been a silent companion for many years, more than we can count. It’s no wonder a single day of sleeping 10 hours does nothing for that deep seeded feeling of exhaustion or fatigue. The constant striving has been in full effect for years, it will take dedication and time to get back to a baseline that does not include fatigue and exhaustion.
Constant striving can be all we know how to do. It’s been in the driver’s seat in the car of life for so long. How do we stop? How do we differentiate between force (striving) and action?
What Growth Looks Like When You Trust God’s Timing
The difference between force and action lies behind the intention. Are you acting in response to life’s pressures? The need to satisfy a worry whether it be financial, emotional, or mental. There is an external pressure that is forcing your hand towards activity or a decision tied to a specified outcome, ultimately causing you to move by force. Action is movement taken leading to growth, but does not have the stress and pressure tied to it. This particular type of action is taken after careful instruction and made in a peaceful confidence. Action is tied to trusting God, while force comes after taking matters into your own hands essentially lacking in trust.
Trusting God’s timing does not mean inactivity or doing nothing. It means not trying to impose your own time constraints on the areas of your life God is working on. God doesn’t respond to the earthly pressures or the need to rush an outcome, because you’re impatient or have become accustomed to instant gratification. Trusting God’s timing looks like maintaining calmness and patience while you wait for God to respond. If we recall in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.
When you fully wrap your mind around the fact God is not here to cause you any harm, you can trust with confidence. Scripture tells us that patience is needed for God to conduct the work in your life that must be completed.
“For the vision is yet for an appointed time, though it tarry, wait for it, for it will surely come”- Habakkuk 2:3
With this, we learn to let go of the need to control every single aspect of our lives. Learning to trust God in controlling the outcomes, also allows us to put down the unnecessary weight that is not ours to carry.
Releasing the need to control the outcomes does not come without discomfort. It gets easier the more you release the reins. As your trust in God and his process increases, the peace you feel will increase with it.
Finding Peace in the Process
In releasing the grip of control, the discomfort slowly eases. With trust, you begin to replace discomfort with peace. It’s like finally swimming with the current, not against it. Using this metaphor, the act of releasing helps you preserve energy for other matters of life. It helps you give things to God that you recognize are not in your control and never were. It helps your focus on the things you can control, which are what you chose to focus on and how you spend your time. When you trust in God, you learn that in reality we are not in control of so much. I laughed about this, when I finally realized that I was causing myself unnecessary anxiety worrying about every single thing and controlling every single aspect of life. Releasing the control felt like putting down a heavy backpack that I've been carrying for as long as I can remember. The freedom that comes from releasing control and trusting God is something people don’t talk about much. It remains slightly uncomfortable and is also amazing at the same time. When you stop forcing everything, growth happens at an alarming rate. It begins in the unseen and slowly spills out into the external world. Trust in God because the lack of trust only creates anxiety and stress, and God does not want that life for us. We shouldn’t want that life for ourselves either.
Stay Blessed,
Naomi A
